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    Ironic lyrics

    An old man turned ninety-eight
    He won the lottery and died the next day
    It’s a black fly in your Chardonnay
    It’s a death row pardon two minutes too late
    And isn’t it ironic…dontcha think

    It’s like rain on your wedding day
    It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid
    It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take
    Who would’ve thought…it figures

    Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
    He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
    He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
    And as the plane crashed down he thought
    “Well isn’t this nice…”
    And isn’t it ironic…dontcha think

    It’s like rain on your wedding day
    It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid
    It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take
    Who would’ve thought…it figures

    Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
    When you think everything’s okay and everything’s going right
    And life has a funny way of helping you out when
    You think everything’s gone wrong and everything blows up
    In your face

    A traffic jam when you’re already late
    A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
    It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
    It’s meeting the man of my dreams
    And then meeting his beautiful wife
    And isn’t it ironic…dontcha think
    A little too ironic…and yeah I really do think…

    It’s like rain on your wedding day
    It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid
    It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take
    Who would’ve thought…it figures

    Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
    Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
    Helping you out

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    You Oughta Know lyrics

    I want you to know, that I’m happy for you
    I wish nothing but the best for you both
    An older version of me
    Is she perverted like me
    Would she go down on you in a theatre
    Does she speak eloquently
    And would she have your baby
    I’m sure she’d make a really excellent mother

    Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn’t able
    To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
    And every time you speak her name
    Does she know how you told me you’d hold me
    Until you died, till you died
    But you’re still alive

    And I’m here to remind you
    Of the mess you left when you went away
    It’s not fair to deny me
    Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
    You, you, you oughta know

    You seem very well, things look peaceful
    I’m not quite as well, I thought you should know
    Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity
    I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
    It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
    Are you thinking of me when you fuck her

    Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn’t able
    To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
    And every time you speak her name
    Does she know how you told me you’d hold me
    Until you died, til you died
    But you’re still alive

    And I’m here to remind you
    Of the mess you left when you went away
    It’s not fair to deny me
    Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
    You, you, you oughta know

    Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me
    And I’m not gonna fade
    As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
    And every time I scratch my nails down someone else’s back
    I hope you feel it…well can you feel it

    And I’m here to remind you
    Of the mess you left when you went away
    It’s not fair to deny me
    Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
    You, you, you oughta know

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